Sunday, November 27, 2005
PARANOID: GOOD OFFICER, MISTRUSTING PERSON
The writer of this email captures beautifully an aspect of Corrections Fatigue, the gradual negative changes in the person due to the nature of correctional work.
I thought I would share a recent experience with you that is indicative of the way people become when they work in Corrections.
The other night at work I noticed an inmate duress alarm (a red light that glows on a control panel) shortly after my shift had started. The off-going officer had neglected to pass this on when I relieved him, probably because the inmate had activated it for some frivolous reason. Sometimes inmates do that. They may act like needing a roll of toilet paper or wanting a phone call is an emergency. So, I notified the Officer in charge of the Unit and we checked it out. Of course, the inmate was fast asleep in his bunk, and we deactivated the duress alarm. Why did we respond? Because the moment we don't some inmate is trying to commit suicide, having a heart attack, or is having a seizure. No matter how an inmate may behave, we are still committed and duty-bound to preserve his life.
The next day, while at Dairy Queen, I came across a ladies purse. I opened it to see if there was anything of value inside. There was a wad of money totaling $70.00 and a driver's license belonging to an eighteen-year-old girl. I went to the register and asked an employee if anyone had asked for a lost purse. I was told no but they would be happy to hold onto it if the person came back. I immediately didn't trust the young man behind the register to do the right thing. I politely stated that I would try to find the girl's phone number and call her. I was not successful in getting a phone number, so I drove to the address listed on the driver's license. When I reached the address I met the girl and gave her the purse with the money and I.D. inside. She thanked me and I left. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got this horrible foreboding feeling. Like, was that the same girl as who was on the I.D.? Did I go to the right address? Did that kid just con me?
You see, being a good Correctional Officer often times leaves you questioning what you just did or didn't see, what you just did or forgot to do. What you just checked or forgot to check. It contaminates your personal life. You do the very same thing to people in free society and to your family. Often times I find this thoroughness very cumbersome and I notice that others in the free world find it offensive.
Feel free to publish these thoughts. I am sure that there are others out there like me. At work, it is doing a good job. Off of work, it is neurotic and a person can feel abnormal. I guess I would like to share with the others that they are not alone.
I thought I would share a recent experience with you that is indicative of the way people become when they work in Corrections.
The other night at work I noticed an inmate duress alarm (a red light that glows on a control panel) shortly after my shift had started. The off-going officer had neglected to pass this on when I relieved him, probably because the inmate had activated it for some frivolous reason. Sometimes inmates do that. They may act like needing a roll of toilet paper or wanting a phone call is an emergency. So, I notified the Officer in charge of the Unit and we checked it out. Of course, the inmate was fast asleep in his bunk, and we deactivated the duress alarm. Why did we respond? Because the moment we don't some inmate is trying to commit suicide, having a heart attack, or is having a seizure. No matter how an inmate may behave, we are still committed and duty-bound to preserve his life.
The next day, while at Dairy Queen, I came across a ladies purse. I opened it to see if there was anything of value inside. There was a wad of money totaling $70.00 and a driver's license belonging to an eighteen-year-old girl. I went to the register and asked an employee if anyone had asked for a lost purse. I was told no but they would be happy to hold onto it if the person came back. I immediately didn't trust the young man behind the register to do the right thing. I politely stated that I would try to find the girl's phone number and call her. I was not successful in getting a phone number, so I drove to the address listed on the driver's license. When I reached the address I met the girl and gave her the purse with the money and I.D. inside. She thanked me and I left. As soon as I sat down in my car, I got this horrible foreboding feeling. Like, was that the same girl as who was on the I.D.? Did I go to the right address? Did that kid just con me?
You see, being a good Correctional Officer often times leaves you questioning what you just did or didn't see, what you just did or forgot to do. What you just checked or forgot to check. It contaminates your personal life. You do the very same thing to people in free society and to your family. Often times I find this thoroughness very cumbersome and I notice that others in the free world find it offensive.
Feel free to publish these thoughts. I am sure that there are others out there like me. At work, it is doing a good job. Off of work, it is neurotic and a person can feel abnormal. I guess I would like to share with the others that they are not alone.
Comments:
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I have been a correctional officer for twelve years. You have to learn to leave it all at the gate!
# posted by 
: 6:36 AM
: 6:36 AM
I get called paranoid alot. I did not start out that way, but in our line of work everybody you meet lies to you. The cons lie to get stuff. Management never tells the truth. It's gotten to the point that if somebody is nice to me I put them into the category of salesman or telemarketer and I start to look for their angle. This has made it impossible for me to get into a relationship. I feel like I cannot let down my "guard"...ever. I second guess everything.
# posted by : 11:21 AM
: 11:21 AM
This is so true. You start to mistrust everything, because of the perspective you are in at work.
I try so hard to leave at the gate, but it simply isn't that easy. Since I teach cognitive education, I read what's going through these guys' heads and hear what comes up in discussions. It never ceases to amaze me what human beings are capable of, and my sense giving people the benefit of the doubt is demolished.
I can no longer just go out anymore. I'm analytical to begin with - I've always been good at reading people, but now my radar is off kilter. I try not to discuss any of it at home, because my husband thinks I'm nuts. "Can't we just have a normal dinner without you thinking everyone is a criminal?"
I begin to see why people who work in corrections gravitate to one another almost to exclusion. Few people understand our world. I have deliberately tried not to socialize with people I work with precisely because of this. But I have nowhere to process what I see and deal with every day.
I can't just "leave it at the gate." I have been in this for a few years now, and it's really beginning to weigh on me.
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I try so hard to leave at the gate, but it simply isn't that easy. Since I teach cognitive education, I read what's going through these guys' heads and hear what comes up in discussions. It never ceases to amaze me what human beings are capable of, and my sense giving people the benefit of the doubt is demolished.
I can no longer just go out anymore. I'm analytical to begin with - I've always been good at reading people, but now my radar is off kilter. I try not to discuss any of it at home, because my husband thinks I'm nuts. "Can't we just have a normal dinner without you thinking everyone is a criminal?"
I begin to see why people who work in corrections gravitate to one another almost to exclusion. Few people understand our world. I have deliberately tried not to socialize with people I work with precisely because of this. But I have nowhere to process what I see and deal with every day.
I can't just "leave it at the gate." I have been in this for a few years now, and it's really beginning to weigh on me.
# posted by : 6:26 PM
: 6:26 PM << Home
